Friday, July 19, 2013

Outsider No More

I was afraid of feeling like an outsider as I attended my 20-year reunion. As a student, I didn’t fit in with my classmates, mostly due to my cult-like religion. I wasn’t permitted to celebrate holidays (including birthdays), participate in extra-curricular activities, date outside of our faith, or demonstrate any acts of patriotism (e.g. salute the flag or sing the national anthem). I was also discouraged from attending college. These differences always made me feel removed from my peers. I was jealous of their freedoms and that bitterness further alienated me from my class.

As an adult, I’ve chosen not to participate in that particular religion, but I’ve also come to see that it was my attitude, more than my situation, that kept me from really engaging socially. I chose to be whiny and bitter instead of happy and outgoing. My response wasn’t unusual for a teen, but I wish I could have taken a more objective look at my situation at the time and chosen to rise above it.

When I made the decision to attend my first of the high school reunions this weekend, I committed to putting that sullen attitude behind me and greeting my classmates as a socially-adept adult (albeit a weird one).

Top, American Apparel. Skirt, vintage, thrifted, shortened, and embellished. Boots, Ariat. Sunglasses, Girlprops. Necklace, Zad. Bag, Apt 9.

A warm welcome from my friend Ryan put me immediately at ease at the pre-reunion gathering on Friday night. I spent the evening hugging, asking for only a few names, reconnecting, and enjoying the fact that high school (and teenage attitudes) were long behind all of us!


Anonymous said...

Wow, thank you for your touching honesty about such a sensitive subject. So glad you are happy and free now! So sad your family put such restrictions on you. You are a fashion inspiration and always have motivated me to live a healthy life, I especially enjoyed when you used to share a lot on health and fitness, I hope you had a blast at the reunion!
sp :)

thorne garnet said...

doesn't whinny and bitter go with teenager? Glad to hear the reunion went well. Love the boots

Londyn said...

We live and we learn don't we! I'm so proud of the woman you've become :)

Anonymous said...

I think you've done a great job of "recovering" from your childhood - that's what I call my experience.

I love the back of those boots!


Lorena said...

Oh, wow, I would have never thought you had so many restrains while growing up - I am glad to hear that you went to your reunion and that it all went well.
I think you looked beautiful - did you tell anyone there about the blog ?

Kasmira said...

Lorena - I didn't tell anyone about the blog, but a few people know, from Facebook.

Pam in Cincinnati said...

i have a feeling we may have been raised in the same religion. i certainly recognize the high school experience - and knowing several who have been through it, it's a pretty common one for those of us who have chosen to leave to see when looking back.